March 2008 

Ab mat mera nirman karo

Yesterday, my husband read this out to me. My feelings put in words……..

Ab mat mera nirman karo ,

Kuch bhi abhi tak na ban paaya ,

Yug-yug bête, mein ghabraya

Bhulo meri vyakulta ko, nij lajja ka to dhayan karo

Is chakki par khate chakkar

Mera tan-man jivan jarjar ,

Hey, khubhkaar, meri mitti ko aur na ab haaeraan karo

Kehne ki seema hoti hai, sehne ki seems hoti hai

Kuch mere bhi bas mein, mera kuch soch samajh apmaan karo.

 – Harivanshrai Bachchan (India)

 Feb 2008

Wake up from your slumber

Didn’t we always crave for free time when we were working, and now that we have time, we complain about having too much of it and obssess about being unemployed & getting bored. 

Well, I did that for a long time…but realised the futility for endless worrying. I tried to learn lots of new things during my stay on h4…things which I always wanted to learn/do but could never find enough time due to academic / professional restraints.  

You too, dont have to sit and sulk, take up a YMCA course or learn something new from Michaels. If you dont have a car or cannot drive yourself to these places, then look up the internet for some painting techniques, make paintings, placemats, an interesting T- shirt or just knit a scarf.  Get a tennis racket and play with your spouse on weekends, invest in a pair of jogging shoes and run …as far as possible from your worries.  Write a blog or take up photography !

Trust me, it will help you get over your boredom for atleast sometime…and definately, enrich your life ! As they say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. (if life gives you something sour, turn it sweet) …Keep smiling 🙂

life giving you lemons



 Jan 2008


As I have emphasized in my earlier article, a driver’s license is a must-have for a H4-visa holder. It will provide you with certain amount of freedom. Even if you cannot afford to buy a second car, you can at least feel good about being able to go out by yourself on weekends or being able to offer your spouse take the passenger seat. Maybe you can drive your husband to work and then, have path to freedomthe car to yourself. You will not only be able to share your spouse’s responsibilities ( like picking up the kids, doing groceries, dropping off library books, etc) but in a way prepare for the time , when you will be able to work or start your education.The driver’s license will also serve as a Government issued photo id for h4 holders.

It can get a little embarrassing to say that we don’t have a photo id / license apart from our passports. You will not have to carry your passports while travelling within United States.Driving in USA isn’t very difficult, especially city driving. Drivers follow traffic rules and stay in their lanes. Most of the cars have automatic gears and lots of other features which make driving easier.  So, go to the DMV office today and get the handbook on road / driving rules. Buckle up and give your life a head start…






 December 2007


The hero lies in you

Click on the link below to hear the song 


There is a hero
If you look inside your heart
You dont have to be afraid
Of what you are
Theres an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And youll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Its a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

 And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And youll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But dont let anyone
Tear them away, hey yeah
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
Youll find the way
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And youll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
That a hero lies in you
That a hero lies in   …..  You !

– Mariah Carey



 November 2007

why has it become so important to be independent ?

free yourself

I have always been an independent and a free spirit. For a person, who has enjoyed and advocates financial independence, it is a big part of her individuality. Not being able to contribute to society and earn, affects me in more than one way. I am more parsimonious than required, I get uncomfortable about little spending and am hesitant while taking financial decisions –  the fact that I am dependent just doesn’t let me be myself. I am humbled by it. 

I guess, I belong to an entirely different generation of women ( raised by our independent spirited mothers to be this way) who never thought of ever being financially dependent on anyone – even their husbands.  My husband has tried his best to make me feel better and has never given me an opportunity to complain. But it is a part of my character to be a little more self-assured and assertive when I know that I am earning  and being my husband’s equal partner in every respect.


12 thoughts on “Inspiration”

  1. trappedh4 said:

    I never see any comments in this section – I was hoping see a lot of activity here…come on people! what do you do on days when you feel really bogged down … share your happy thing with us. I have loved the song Hero since I was a teenager, always raises my spirits.

  2. ha ha ..i have tried all those u just said above… day its going to into trash..
    DL..Believe me I have been challenged “will i get the DL at the first shot”..knitting-the sweater i gifted as fiance still lies in the cupboard no way playing with woolen balls.

    Chk out these lines from my blog ..worst he doesnt even know that I blog 😦

    Anso tere nikle to aankh meri ho
    Dil tere dhadke to dhadkan meri ho
    Khuda kare hamari Mohabbat itni gehri ho
    Naukri tu kare aur pagaar meri ho.

    • trapped said:

      my husband doesn’t know that i blog either…he doesn’t have to ! not that it is a BIg secret but he has nothing to do with it. you should think about how your creativity and work affectes you and not the people around you…not everything is for display and show. somethings are done for inner peace and pleasure. as for going into the trash…someday all of us are ging to perish and become dirt again. But you cannot live your life with this attitude.
      cheer up friend.

  3. crazyowl said:

    i made new friends through the orkut community of my region. we met up, the husbands also tagged along and found new friends. Now we go exploring new destinations as a large group of friends or just meet on sat evenings for drinks, food and game of poker 🙂 Its been relieving to be in touch with women in the same boat.

  4. Ya truly…but it seems life just stopped for us and we cant do anything bout it…there so many restrictions in this country…i wish i was back home in india ..could have been much fun…doing lot of activities,family and whole lot of things to do….

  5. Friends,

    We all are aware of the identity crisis that many girls experience after they get married and come to the United States of America on a dependent visa, famously or infamously known as H-4 visa, which not only imposes restrictions on working and having an independent source of income, but might also involve an agonizing wait to earn an authorized work permit that renders the official rights to work in America. The alarming number of stories about depression and loneliness experienced by H-4 wives inspired me to find a medium that’ll allow me to share my secret of leading a life full of happiness and sheer bliss while being on a dependent visa. And I thought the best medium to deliver my message would be through a book.

    My book “H-4 Fortune Cookies” is dedicated to all the H-4 wives who believe that “life is a struggle” in a new country, especially when it involves leaving behind a well paying job, a stable career, or promising educational achievements in their respective home countries. It is for those who believe that they are not free despite living in a free country – “The Land of Opportunity”; that they have sacrificed and surrendered a significant part of themselves to their restrictive immigration statuses. It contains 50 Inspirational Thoughts written by me, who was fortunate enough to have enjoyed every moment being a H-4 wife!

    I want to share my good fortune with all the H-4 wives in the form of these 50 Fortune Cookies that stood by me during tough times. I sincerely hope that the thoughts in my book spark a ray of hope in the lives of all those wives who left their homelands to be in a progressive country, yet feel constrained due to their immigration statuses.

    I deeply desire to liberate all the H-4 wives from their mental inhibitions and inspire them to realize their dreams while being on a dependent visa. Share the good fortune by passing along these fortune cookies that are stocked with a lot of goodness and hope for all those who need a fresh perspective about “life on H-4”.

    My book is available in the form of an e-book and can be downloaded from the following link:

    Experience the joy in spreading hope & inspiration through the fortune cookies in my book!

    Lots of Happiness & Light

  6. Sonia Saraf said:


    My book “H-4 Fortune Cookies” dedicated to H-4 wives can be downloaded for FREE from the following link:

    I hope it offers you tons of inspiration!

    Lots of Happiness & Light

  7. HI Trapped,
    I came to US 8 months back. I waS A busy software engineer n busy mom there in India… I never had an idea that being H4 will affect my independence n confidence to this extreme…. I’m just praying god to give me courage n confidence to face this situation. I just started preparing for driving tests. Let me c huv i proceed with this H4 in US…

  8. LilithBlack said:

    I would like to read your book, Sonia, but is not available on that link anymore. Can you share it again? Thanks in advance:)

  9. someone not important said:

    you guys are just awesome , even though the idea of “a life full of HAPPINESS” is unrealistic (at least to me) affter 5 + miserable years in the US but cant blame it on others when I am myself to blame for marrying the crap of mankind !!

  10. Hi there! I simply want to give a huge thumbs up for the great info you’ve gotten right here on this post. I might be coming again to your weblog for extra soon.

  11. Writer of this blog – kudos! So very happy to see someone like me out there on this visa. H4. Up until now, I was blissfully unaware of how other women struggle on it. I married the love of my life and moved here. I knew there’d be challenges like learning how to drive and cooking my own food and cleaning (ugh) but honestly, I never thought people were being tortured or suicidal on this visa. America has so much to offer in terms of learning that I don’t find the time to be sad. Do I wish I earned? Oh yes. But I know I will someday. Meanwhile, I am learning all I can to start my company when I get a green card.

    While waiting for a work permit, I started a family and today, I believe I hold a degree in child raising and housekeeping. All my friends come to me for guidance and help and I enjoy counseling them. I wish to spread my positivity through my blog (it’s a work in progress). Will make it a point to share it here.

    Keep the happy flame dancing 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s