The Involuntary Housewife


I am on H4 visa in the United States of America. I have a very fulfilling life, lots of hobbies, a loving family n’ kids. But I feel, I have lost my independence as H4 has taken away my right to work …rather right to choose – to work or not ! Everyone should have a choice to decide what is good for them and their family…more so, in a free country like America.
I had a flourishing career in India and enjoy a great family life here. But I feel trapped in H4, I want my ‘freedom to choose’ back !!!
This blog is an effort to help fellow H4 visa holders and me get a hold on life & to understand this visa better – its provisions, limitations and implications on our day to day life. Comments and Corrections are welcome ! Happy Browsing !


143 thoughts on “The Involuntary Housewife”

  1. hi

    i am on h4 too and i am a social worker too, what a co-incidence. would like to get to know you. i know how you feel, i feel the same.


    • Greetings all H4 residents!

      I am researching a concept, that has the potential to alleviate the educational inequity that exists in the US today especially in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Maths), an already designated high priority area. And H4 ‘STEM qualified’ residents can play a vital volunteer role in it.

      I was wondering if you could assist me with the foll stats:
      1. # of current H4-Visa residents in the US;
      2. Of which, # Qualified (Maths, Science Engineering, IT/Technology)
      3. Any database maintained of H4-visa spouses statewide etc?

      In case you do not have this data, could you please point me where I could get this on the Net? Or better still, browse around and provide any input that you can?

      If the moderator permits, I can be reached at gkebiz at gmail dot com

      Thank you all!

    • Hello ,
      I am vandana ,H4 visa holder.It was very difficult to understand this fact for me also and fortunately i met some of people who offered me internship and the great thing is the project is related to H4 visa holder. It really made me so enthusiastic and i am giving my best in it.
      We are working on H4 community . let me know if any one wants to connect through his project.


      • Hi Vandana,

        I am on H4 too and would love to connect with you through this project. Please let me know the details. What is your email id?


      • Hi Vandana,
        I am Swarna and am a H4 Visa Holder.
        I would like to know more about your internship program.
        Please let me know if I have stand a chance to get connected to the project.


      • Hi Vandana,
        I am also on h4 currently and have work exp of four yrs in IT industry. I am looking for some in home projects such as mentioned by you reg some project which you are working now. Please let me know if the project is still on, so that I would also like to join this.

      • Hello Vandana,

        I am also facing the same problem. Please let me know what are the requirements to connect with your project. I am a B.Tech graduate in computer science. If you need any information please let me know.


      • Hi Vandana,
        i too am h4 feels terrible to stay at home whole day.Is there any interesting project to work i will be happy to work on .


      • Hi Vandana ,
        I have H4 visa and would like to participate in the intership program . Please let me know the details about this .

        Thanks ,
        Seema .

      • Hello vandana,
        Please mail me the details

      • can u please send me the details regarding the internship..

      • hi vandana please mail me the details…i am also H4 visa holder

  2. Hello Laskshmi,
    How are you? Well, as all h4 visa holders , I too would like to work or atleast would like to decide whether or not to work myself…rather than the US government.
    Anyway, Great to have you on this blog…where in US are you staying and for how long have you been on H4?
    Keep in Touch.

  3. hey guys,
    its really boring sitting at unable to decide what to do as there are lot of formalities ..
    i have applied for h1b..but if it fails what should i do???

    • Hello ,
      I am vandana ,H4 visa holder.It was very difficult to understand this fact for me also and fortunately i met some of people who offered me internship and the great thing is the project is related to H4 visa holder. It really made me so enthusiastic and i am giving my best in it.
      We are working on H4 community . let me know if any one wants to connect through his project.

  4. Hi there!

    I am not a social worker but an interior designer, so our only co-incidence is the fact that I am also a H-4 visa holder for over 7 months.

    Also, like you and Laskshmi, I have felt somehow stuck, but I keep trying to find the bright side of it, at least I am able to study wich is awsome.

    Found your blog while learning how to aply for a driver lincense or a non-driver ID in nyc.

    Every new step forward is full of paper work and dead ends, but I try to be optimistic about it, and I keep hoping that one day I will gain my independence back.

    Now have my ITIN (individual tax identification number), which only works for taxes and opening a savings account, which I still have to do.

    Hope to see more of your blog.

  5. how r u ???iam checking this site for the first time..even iam in the same roads..on H4,After BE was working in bangalore for 2 years,from 6 months iam in the US…i feel “trapped”is the right word used…i have no one here to even speak..i am worried if i’ll get some mental illness..want to do any volunteer job..i have checked on websites but havent got any…and also dont know how to find one..please help if u have any idea how to voluteer…would love to do it…eagerly awaiting for a reply…..thanks …..

  6. trappedh4 said:

    Hi tulip,
    so, have you applied for h1-b visa. why would it fail?? let’s not focus on negatives….i am sure your h1-b will get processed – it is just a matter of time.
    Use this time to get ready for the job – rebrush your academic and proffessional skills, redo your wardrobe, learn some quick fix meals ( u’ll be hard pressed for time !), etc…
    Good Luck and keep us posted.

  7. trappedh4 said:

    Hi Sandra,
    Thanks for your input. once on h4 visa – every step forward is like three steps backward…there is a load of paper work.

    But as they say ” something that cannot be cured has to be endured” …what keeps me going is the fact that I am not alone … I have so many friends through this blog. We are sailing in the same boat and will we will ALL get through!

  8. trappedh4 said:

    Hi Sandhya,
    I am doing good – thanks for asking !! So, you are an engineer. being an engineer , you should be able to apply or h1-b visa …do find time and look up something on higher studies.

    If you wish to do volunteer work – you can check with your local library – that is a great place to volunteer.

    But most importantly, dont lose your mind. That is the biggest challenge while on h4…your have to keep yourself razor sharp, all your academic and proffessional knowledge should be polished, learn some new skills, learn the american way of life….dont let h4 visa get to you…dont let it dull you.
    Whenever you feel unheard or need to vent out your feelings you can always drop in a line here.
    Good Wishes.

  9. thank u soo much…this gives so much confidence…i will not let my idle mind to invade me..i will keep myself occupied …if u get to know abt any volunteering oppurtunities please let me know
    keep in touch…

  10. hi friends…

    well to start with i m on h4 and i feel exactly the same… after working for 5 years in india and being so independent h4 completely makes u kinda helpless. u have to find ur own ways of keeping urself busy n active. well i have a suggestion for sandhya…she is a b.e graduate and i feel the picture looks better for people coming from technical background. Just hire a reliable consultant. it really works. i have my engineer friends who were on h4, find jobs thru a consultant. just make sure he/she is a reliable one and wont keep u on bench for long time.
    or u can offer to do a volunteer job in engineering firms or companies where they have seasonal job openings. but never take any thing in return(money). its illegal.

    Friends-one has be very proactive in this country. Things are so complicated and there are so many legal hassles for immigrants in this country one has to go out of their way and strive a lot to get things done. but remember as immigrants we have to be very careful and alert. we must think 1000 times before getting into anything. just dont do anything that is illegal no matter how good it sounds. the legal system in USA is very strict.

  11. trappedh4 said:

    Thanks for you input , Preeti ! Only if we could help and motivate each other like this….life would surely become easier !

  12. vatsala said:

    you guys are so right…I have been here since jan 1st this yr and H4 is truely frustrating.I went to the local DMV to get a State ID or DL..but they refused both saying we only allow a driver’s privlage card…wat the heck… its so demeaning…6 yrs of working in india and have a good career…leaving all that to stay home and then not even have an Id.. its worst than anything else…god..i feel awful

  13. trappedh4 said:

    Hi Vatsala,
    there ARE some states which do not let you have a driver’s permit…on what basis did they refuse ?? where do u live?
    what is a driver’s privilege card? never heard of it…
    I am sure it you’ll find a way to occupy yourself and make yourself useful.
    keep in touch.

  14. sandhya said:

    hai everybody
    thank u preeti…it is very encouraging to get suggestions or advices..iam also trying to find some volunteering job.Day by day i was becoming more depressed but now i have made up my mind that i would not let this loneliness to invade i have committements to myself like i wouldnt sit idle..since i didnt find a volunteer job which i always wanted to do..i volunteered myself to keep fit .so i go to gym lot of books…and also since iam a begineer in cooking everyday iam learning new recipes..i found these 2 websites which has cooking videos very easy for beginners like me..the sites are and…so anyone reads this and know begineer cooks u can pass these websites…
    ladies lets not get depressed with the H4 situation and waste our days we get to stay here.let freshen up and start every day with lots of happiness… that once we get to go back to our country we shouldn’t feel that we have wasted years of our life
    god bless
    keep in touch…

  15. trappedh4 said:

    Hey Sandhaya,

    How are you? Nice to hear from you ! I can really related to your expierence. I had never cooked before…and now I have a file full of recipes and a newly founded liking (if not love)for cooking !

    I have learnt driving, cooking, oil painting, poetry (reading and writing), 1 online course and 1 university course on my stay as h4 visa. I am sure all this accounts for ‘something’….

    my new passion is gardening…dont have too
    much space , so i got a few pots to start with.

    The idea is to stay motivated and active….

    Love to hear from you !

  16. Anuradha said:

    Hi Girls (Let us not call ourselves Ladies!!)

    Am getting married soon n coming there to join u as H4. THanks to ull that i have decided to start studying or engage my self in some activity from Day one.

    I have done B.E. and then MBA. My to-be also told me the same things which i read here, one has to be proactive, keep our selves ready.

    Ill be settling in CA, any one from the state??

    Hope to hear soon…
    Take care

    • Akshita Jain said:

      Im from san jose , CA!

    • Hi Anuradha
      i just now saw your text on this blog.i have also done my BE and then MBA and then 1 year of work in india.. now moved to CA.. and sitting at home with H4. please let me know if we could be friends. My name is Ashwini.

  17. trappedh4 said:

    Hello Anuradha,
    I couldn’t agree more with your husband…set targets for yourself. Studying would be the best option … just incase , you find it difficult to keep up with that plan – dont lose hope. Just make a list of things you wish to do, and go ahead make the most of your time. By the way, getting a driver’s license should be a priority.
    Good luck and keep us updated !

  18. trappedH4

    I just blogged on your other page and then saw this one. I’m also a Social Worker but from the UK. We’ve been here 4yrs and continue to await permanent residency process, which is so fustrating and there are times when I become very depressed.

    Would love to hear from you girls.

  19. Hi trapped h4/girls

    It is wonderful to find you guys!. It is very difficult to explain why is hard not to be working. But it’s true the hard part it’s not to have the choice of or even worst, having someone else deciding for you . I am mechanical engineer and I used to work a lot, A LOT. I thought it was going to be actually a blessed not to have to work. And I do feel grateful, don’t get me wrong, I am pretty sure this was the right decision. But it’s true I FEEL TRAPPED!

    I have been on an H4 visa for almost three years. I have studied english, photography. I have volunteered . Once, I decided to apply to get into a public college hoping I would be considered a “chicagoan” since we have lived here for almost two years and I have an ITIN, but I was considered an international student so instead of paying the $79 per credit chicagoans pay, I had to pay $250 per credit. And for sure this is the kind of situation makes you feel “trapped”.
    When you run out of choices. Because let’s face it, studying here its very expensive.

    I haven’t been able to find and H1-b visa sponsor, and with the H1-b crisis it will be even more difficult. At least we started our green card process, lets see what happen and how long it takes to get a labor certification.

    Thank you so much TrappedH4 for this wonderful blog!

    Let’s keep in touch, let me know if you need help writing or supporting any other idea you come up with, I’ll be glad to help,

    Is from Chicago

  20. trappedh4 said:

    Hi Hannah…Welcome to the blog !

    We are also awaiting our green card. My husband is from UK! πŸ™‚ It is quite a challenge to keep our minds sharp and stay in the grove while we await our permanent residency status.

    Well, Join the gang and leave a note everytime you are here.

    Good wishes.

  21. trappedh4 said:

    Hi IS,
    It has heartwarming to hear from you. You have been so candid and thats exactly what this blog is all about. Pour out your heart…

    So, you have done it all…haven’t you? Most of us dont really go out and volunteer (though we keep telling one-another that we can/should).

    Too bad, you had to pay so much for your education…I hope you will be able to use it soon. Good luck with your green card.

    If you come up with any ideas…new articles on H4, new legislation, any news…Just drop in a note or a write up. Trust me, it helps scores of new h1 and h4 visa holders.

    Just staying touch helps too! Dont thank me for the blog…it stemmed out of my boredom, frustration and an urgent need to break the rules. Just to know that there are more like me and we are in it together helps. I am sure we are going to come out stronger …very soon.
    Thank you for ackowledging the effort.

    PS: could you tell me about chicago, we hoping to visit the place next month.

  22. TrappedH4: Thanks so much for your quick response.
    I have a lot of suggestions to you when you come to Chicago, do you want me to leave it here? Or would you rather email me and I’ll replay you with the info…

    Let me know and please feel free to contact me whenever you want..


  23. Hey TrappedH4, I had not seen this page in detail when we talked before. This is a great forum. Thanks for setting it up.

  24. TrappedH4, by now maybe you know that once I visit the site, I end up making multiple comments. This time though I must say that I really liked this section. So much that I went to and tried to see if we could submit a story there. The way that seems to work is that they already have a list of stories they are working on and you can add to it. So I would say maybe we can keep a lookout for stories on women or immigration that maybe related and then submit H4 stories. They also have a section to write to the editor of O magazine. But the editors get so many letters I dont know if that will help. I didnt see a section to submit new story ideas there.

  25. trappedh4 said:

    Hi Amrita, welcome back …

    How have you been? Thanks for all the effort you are putting in…I will try and visit the website ( sometime soon.

    The blog is doing great, but I wish there was a way to make people come back to it with suggestions or just to express themselves. Most of them post a query and then, disappear 😦 If we could make it a forum, it would be really empowering with deas and information pouring in…
    take care.

  26. Lovely Blog!!!

    I moved to US 6 months back afterworking for 3 years. WES credential evaluating agency gave me an an equivalency of Masters in Accounting with 3.9 GPA and here I am.. doing nothing.

    And I am tired of answering people, “what I do the whole day.”

    • Manaswini said:

      hey !! im am a stay home mom in Phx AZ with H4 visa status. But i found a legal way to earn. YES.. IT IS LEGAL !! im not only keeping myself productive but also help my hubby save so much on taxes because of what i’ve taken up. you can mail me if you want to know more wini dot manas at gmail dot com

  27. trappedh4 said:

    Hi Shivangi…welcome to the blog

    I know exactly what you are talking about… I get so offended by this remark “what do you do all day long” and well, my answer to this is that – I do exactly what you do. I work, pursue hobbies and try to make the best of what I have right now. ”
    Just because I am at home does NOT mean that i sit on the couch all day long and eat chips ! people have the nerve to ask something like this…anyway, let other be insensitive if they so desire. We have more pressing issues that need to be taken care of …
    About your GPA evaluation – it is pretty good ! Why dont you look you look up a good course maybe a certificate course / masters degree ( if you can afford it) or just get into a non-credit program… maybe , an online degree.
    It is time to get busy, before your mind takes a trip to the depression-land !! :-)) While you decide upon a course, go to your local michaels store or hobbylobby and pick up a project keep us posted !


  28. good job gals !! I am on h4 too… why not stop mourning and do something fun here… wat do u gals do on ur free time.. i am learning yoga… πŸ™‚

  29. trappedh4 said:

    Hello there,
    Well, it has been a year since I moved here on H4 visa.
    I learnt Painting thru the internet and to my my surprise i am quite decent with oil colors (if i say so myself….ahem !! :-DD ).
    Gardening came next (cherry tomatoes in a big pot and pansies).
    I knitted a scarf for my kid last winter and this year, I am making her a dress (it is fairly simple, if u get the pattern from walmart).
    I usually go or long walks and write a few blogs…..
    take care

  30. Hi trappedh4
    U doing pretty good…. i was reading all the posts here and find u trying to cheer every other trapped H4… m also on H4 almost since one year.. It was frustrating in starting few months, but it got better with time, i learnt cooking, swimming, going to join a professional degree soon in a good university. It becomes too hard for gals who come to US on h4, while they were working full time in India, earning handsome salary.. Its true, like Sandhya shared, that it becomes heart rendering cry-out, to stay on H4 and do nothing, and just feel dependent all the time.

    P.S- All H4 gals, dont loose heart and mind… stay tuned, and try keeping urself busy. Fight H4 duration and dont forget to smile.

    • Manaswini said:

      hey !! im am a stay home mom in Phx AZ with H4 visa status. But i found a legal way to make earn. YES.. IT IS LEGAL !! im not only keeping myself productive but also help my hubby save so much on taxes because of what i’ve taken up. you can mail me if you want to know more wini dot manas at gmail dot com

  31. Hi everyone,

    I was surfing various blogs and i found dis, i thought i would be great to share everybody there..
    go through this site and see the short movie.. Its worth watching…

  32. trappedh4 said:

    Hi SK,
    thanks for all your comments ! Hope you become an active member of this blog. Keep us updated with your endeavours …I too, believe that ‘something that cannot be cured has to be endured ( or Enjoyed πŸ™‚ !!!)’

  33. hi trapped h4,
    it will be 2 years in jan 09 since i came to the us on an h4 visa, although mentally i was preparing myself for hibernation…….i was experiencing a lot of emotional husband is sensitive to my state…i’m hoping to get my drivers license soon,i’m sudying science ,occasionally paint,discovered a love for organic gardening and helps to keep my sanity…..and there nothing like a good workout for health optimism!!

  34. trappedh4 said:

    Hi melody,
    you are so right – no matter how much we prepare ourselves, there are bound to be some days when this h4-visa-thing just gets to you…

    well, you have a wide range of hobbies – a strong armour against h4 πŸ™‚ I also took to oil painting – and i just love it !

    Maybe you could post a few (of your paintings and some tips on how to paint) on your weblog and add a link here. Use this forum whenever you feel like sharing , expressing or even yelling :-).

    I have to moderate the comments because there is so much spam that makes its way to the blog if I deactivate the “moderate comments ” feature. I dont like doing it though, makes me feel as if I am the sole proprietor of this blog (the blog belongs to everyone who visits!)

    anyway, c’ya around.

  35. thanks!! thats a great idea ,you have just inspired me to create my own weblog.

  36. trappedh4 said:

    When you are done, please send us a link to it πŸ™‚

  37. I agree that while on H4 you have few options to choose. But sky is the limit who wants to fly. I have compiled a list of fruitful activities which can lead us to earn money and much needes self satisfaction that β€œwe are working.”
    I was so depressed that whenever I surf the internet and read such blogs, I cried within myself, tears don’t come out but I cry. In a sense, I reach to the point where I could not even express my feelings. Than I stopped reading all such things. And started to find out a way to earn online. And I found some very interesting and successful ways.
    Please feel free to read some of them at
    I will add more info on it.
    Thanks and Cheers!! Enjoy and FEEL the freedom!

  38. Hi Sonal,

    I dont agree with you. Trust me , just like you, we ALL wish to fly but Sky is not the limit for us. There are certain things we CANNOT do…some very basic and important things.

    It is great that we all can look beyond that limitation and maintain a happy, hopeful disposition.

    You should not be making any money while on h4 visa – not even by a blog! So the option of making money by teaching online could bring about a lot of trouble for you and your readers on H4.

    There is no freedom to work and earn a livelihood. We should be realistic and understand the limitations of this visa. This should not come as disappointing or disheartening as being aware is the first step towards being free !


  39. Hi trappedh4,
    I tried doing online freelance writing. They paid me for that, it wasn’t a big amount, I should admit. But we can atleast give a try to find out the way.

  40. I think you know more, I will better remove my blog.

  41. Hi Sonal,

    I hope my reply didn’t disappoint you. But as you said, we can try other avenues. Keep posting your views on the blog. I am sure if we put our minds to it , we are bound to come up with some new and interesting ideas.

    Your blog is quite kool…it has two oxymorons in its title – freedom is h4 ! πŸ˜‰
    post some more writeups…maybe something about the driver’s license for h4 visa holders in california.

    ps: do not mention your freelance sting and the fact that you were paid for it to anyone

  42. Thanks Trapped.

  43. I wish I had not used the pseudonym ‘trapped‘ …it isn’t very flattering and sure kills dampens the spirit of this blog.
    Anyway, that is something that cannot be changed. I like the title of this blog, but dont like the alias….maybe i shouldn’t have used an alias …what do you say? πŸ™‚

  44. the blog is getting good day by day… H4’s aren’t that tied…. πŸ˜‰

  45. thankz SK !
    If anyone here can think of better name for this blog – then, do let me know….I’ll change it rightaway ! I think any name would be better than this one. 😦
    SK – do you have a driver’s license ? which state are you living in – help me out with my new post :

  46. Srinivas Bhushan said:

    Hi, I’m on H4 too and would love to make a career in clay modelling and sculpting.
    Is there a way to start?

  47. Hello there !

    Clay modelling and scuplting sounds very fascinating …didn’t India just win a gold medal in fine arts at beijing olympics.

    Well, I am sure there are loads of online tutorials and do-it-yourself (DIY) instructions on the internet.
    you can take pictures of your scupltures and put them on a blog.
    There is virtual clay sculpting too (which is done online) ! check out for online workshops …or you can pursue an online degree in fine arts ! just do a google search.

    I have no idea how to make a career out of it…or where and how are these scupltures sold. 😦

    Still , I wish you good luck and hope the information above helps.


  48. So I havent been here a while or havent blogged either and have missed the change to the cute puppies. It looks great. I am also happy that people are sounding more positive. You know, wordpress may have a forum tool. I will look it up. But you have a good number responding with queries, which is good.

  49. Hiiiiee Amrita,
    the puppies … aren’t they cute !? The blog has seen lots of activity in the past few days – the most heartening aspect is that not only people visit but also come back to it from time to time.

    How are you doing? I love your write-ups…they are heartwarming and funny … a difficult to achieve combination.
    take care.

  50. hin all!
    i have just moved to san francisco a little while ago…i was wondering if any of you out there are interested on starting a book club..we cud meet once a week or once in 2 weeks….pls let me know if anybody is interested..we can work this out

  51. Hi,

    I just chanced on this post and thought I’d pen down some of my thoughts and experience.
    Its been about a year in the US for me on a H4 visa. When I came here, I told myself I simply could not/ should not drown myself in self-pity at my situation as a dependent. Once I made that decision, it just became a lot more easier for me. I started looking for options to volunteer and have been volunteering for some great causes/ non-profits for quite sometime now. They are not aligned to my academic credentials or my professional experience, but they make me feel great about being able to make a difference. And what’s more, my volunteer work has reshaped my thought process and life priorities and has even given me a new full-time career option to consider!
    I do agree H4 robs us of our right to work and independence, but I don’t think anything, ANYTHING should prevent us from living each day to the maximum. Our life is all about choices and on this H4 phase of our life, we can choose to either fight and hang on tough or complain and ‘wait’ for things to change. Trust me, when we look back at our life 10-15 years hence and realize that we spent our H4 days crying and complaining, we would greatly regret that we didn’t try and fight harder to overcome our obstacles. Lets focus our energy and time on something worthwhile, because life is simply too short and too precious .

  52. Hi Priya,
    unfortunately , i am not in san fransico …maybe we can start a book club here ? what to do you say?

  53. Hi Rituparna
    I couldn’ agree more…very well said.
    Keep writing and inspiring !! πŸ™‚

  54. Hey all you gals out there!

    This is quite a fact that H4 Visa is not really a welcome idea! H1 is for IT skills. Not everyone can go for studying higher. All our talent, skills and desires grope for direction…in the so called Land of Opportunities. Well I just add a word “Lost” before opportunities!
    I started some part time IT recruitment work but it is too drab for the creative person inside of me.

    Thanks to Internet, TV and Phone of course, to save from leaving me totally marooned. I do blogging, watch Travel, Cooking & Comedy channels.I did publish some of my work in local print and some web sites. Just to add to my writing experience. And now I am also a Voluntary writer/contributor at They are looking for volunteers in US, India etc. for eco-friendliness and health.
    Check this link below:

    Incidentally it matched with what I love to do, explore healthy things when I shop… and keep missing Indian ways and values :).

    And these are not lengthy articles. Check some of my writing:

    If nothing it is gratifying at least…
    Good wishes to you all,

  55. Hey Gals,

    I just chanced upon this website and I am glad to know that I am not the only one in the”H4″ situation.

    I have been in the US for 1.5 years but (s0metimes!) I haven’t come to terms with accepting the fact that I can’t work just bcz I don’t have a piece of paper which allows me to?!?!

    I was working for 4 years in India and was thoroughly enjoying it. I mean who doesn’t enjoying earning and then spending it the way one wants!

    In SP 08, I enrolled in a associate course in a local community college despite of the fact that I already have a Masters. None of the local state universities offered a Masters prog. in my subject of interest. The course is good but its almost a repetition of what I have done in India with few new things,yet, I am not complaining bcz it keeps me busy and my mind occupied.

    I enjoying gardening, reading, watching movies, surfing the internet, doing up our home, and sometimes cooking. All these activities keep me busy when I don’t have college.

    So I completely agree with everyone, instead of sitting and brooding over the issue we should pursue our hobbies and likings. As Riuparna already said, when we look at our lives 10-15 years from now..we won’t complain that we didn’t have time to pursue our hobbies like many of our friends who would want to do things but don’t have time bcz they are “working”.

    Keep writing,

  56. Hi PRM,

    Welcome to the blog ! it was great to know how you feel…thanks for sharing your story!
    keep visiting and keep this blog ticking !

  57. Margarita said:

    Hi all!

    I exchanged a couple of messages before in this great website for H4s!!! I am always happy to come back and read some inspiring messages.

    Priya, I live in Berkeley and I will be happy to be in a book club! Hope you have not give up on this idea.

    This was my first year as H4 and after some volunteer activities I decided to apply for a PhD in Berkeley. It took all of my free time to prepare for this! Of course if accepted I will only start on September. So in the mean time I think I should continue trying all of those things we discuss here. Thanks for the ideas!

    HAPPY 2009 for all of us!!!!

    • Hi margarita
      A very happy new year to you too…and good luck with your Ph.D application. Keep us updated on that !

  58. Hi there!

    Margarita – im so glad that you are interested in the book club idea..i had given up hope since I dint get any positive response on the forum…how do u suppose we go abt starting one? i have a couple of friends living around here who wud join us if we manage to get a book club really excited abt this…hope more people come fwd to join us in this endeavour

  59. Priya!
    This is my personal email if you want to get it started. I think we should suggest themes, authors, regions.. I love Latin American literature of course, but I have read some Indian writers, Anjana Appachana, Arundathi Roy. Ahh I like to read from women mostly!

  60. Hi all
    Looking around I came across this message:
    It is about options for H4 holders, like us. I found options 4 and 5 very interesting, and I wondering if any of you have tried those!

  61. Hi All,

    I decided to take the CFA level 1 exam and managed to clear it in my first attempt….if anybody wants further info or help on the same..pls do contact me…..

    i will def write to u soon abt our book club…have been busy with applications to universities..i decided to pursue my masters.

    • Priyanka said:

      Hey Priya,

      I am planning on doing CFA/Masters…it will be nice if you can give me some info about it. Currently I am bit confused about certain areas.

    • Majula Divya said:


      I have atlast decided to take up this exam so please can u advise me asto howe u cleared this exam… U can mail me at and probably drop in ure phone number if u dont mind so that i can get some tips fron you πŸ™‚

    • Hi priya
      Can i also join cfa program if i am h4 visa… are you also on h4 visa.
      Pls help me

    • Hey Priya,

      I am living in Sacramento, CA on H4 and have decided to pursue CFA. I came across this blog and your comment. Can you please help me out regarding more info about CFA.

  62. Maria Beatriz said:

    Hello All!

    Thank you very much for post a lot of interesting information.

    I am in H4 Visa also and my intention is to start a small business, selling imported merchandise from Colombia and Brazil here in the U.S. In a first stage I plan to sell the merchandise through an on-line store.

    I know that H4 holders can run business without any legal problems but they can’t take salaries or any other compensation from the business unless they have work permit.

    Better ideas?

  63. Hello Everyone,

    I agree with you guys being on H4 is as good as kalapani . I am Btech and have worked for 7 years in India. Lived a very independent life till now and suddenly being on H4 feels someone has cut my hands just can’t do anything. It has just been 2 months for me being in US it feels i will soon suffer with a mental sickness. I am trying hard to find some community college they also ask for workpermit to enroll which is crazy. It’s just too sick.If i get a chance i would like to go back the only thing which i have to put at stake is my marriage which i can’t.I feel so helpless , no friends, nothing to keep u busy.Plz guide me or help me so that i can keep myself busy and focussed , with some aim in life when i get up in the morning.I was so passionate
    for my job and profession i used to enjoy every moment..and now i get up with no hits me too hard..
    Plz help me

  64. Hola Maria Beatriz,

    Welcome to this nice forum.

    It is exactly that H4 ability to run business that puzzles me. I know it is possible, from previous posts and information, but I can’t figure out how not to claim a salary/compensation from your own business. If we are paid via bank transfer or just if we need to deposit our business earnings, are we supposed to open a different US bank account or can we use our current bank account? When or who else can withdraw these earnings? Would they go in family tax files?

    The other idea is to use your own country’s bank account, but there you get into imports and it could get more difficult from afar.

    Priya! Good luck with your application.


  65. Dear all,

    I’d gone through all the situations mentioned..I was working in India for 4 years…Quit my job n joined my husband…very happy to see u all….useful n nice blog…Have a Great life ahead..take care….God Bless!!!

    Hi trapped..wat’s ur mail id?

    Warm Regards,


    • trapped said:

      Hi Jesline,
      Welcome to the blog…and thanks for all your good wishes ! you can leave me a message on this blog, i check it quite frequently.
      take care.

  66. Hi gals, after a long time i found loads of friends here. Thank you very much. I have been here since 8 months and it’s a real frustrating for me to stay alone n just thinking what am i going to do.
    Initially we used to stay with my sister-in-law’s place when i came from India, so i never felt the loneliness factor, but now we have moved to another city.It’s kinda boring here. Neways thanks a lot . Being on H4 is not a kalapani saza , think positively, enjoy ur time with ur husband,
    visit some places nearby.
    Take the utter most care of urself gals.


    • trapped said:

      Hi Munsha,
      you are so right, it does get extremely frustrating and dull. Being on h4 is not easy, having a few friends ( and a car πŸ˜‰ ) helps though.
      keep visiting and contributing to the blog. thanks !

  67. Margarita said:

    Dear Trapped in H4 friends,

    I have good news! Well, first the not so good news, my application for PhD didn’t get accepted. The same day, an organization for which I had applied for a job, contacted me to offer to sponsor for H1B!!!

    In the final interview when they asked me about my papers I hesitated but at the end I got the courage and said: I would like the company to sponsor my visa. And they did! So what I learn is that I was very shy thinking that they will not do it, that it is very unlikely, etc. I just tried and said it, we have to believe that it is possible.

    I was very happy last year, when I became a H4, to have found YOU, it was this site that give me inspiration and identity. It was great to ‘talk’ to you.

    I am traveling soon to change my visa status and will have to leave behind my H4 stamp. I will miss it, these days of dreaming! I took all the opportunities that we mention here very seriously and I never gave up the nice feeling or, perhaps the conviction, that I was planning my life with freedom.


    • Congratulations MARGARITA !
      I am so happy for you…i am sure you can take up your ph.d later. So when do you start working ? I hope that there isn’t too mcuh paper work and changing visa is a beeze for you. Good luck to you in all you endevours.
      lastly, thanks for all the praises for the blog. you have been a regular visitors and contributor to the blog and I ceratin hope you will continue to help me and others out with your ideas and support.
      take care.

  68. Can someone on H-4 publish a book?

  69. Hi,
    Great blog,
    I would like to get in touch with you to talk more about some ideas I have what is the best way to reach you? Can you send me ur mail id and phone no?
    Congrats on all your work for H4 women

    • trapped said:

      thanks. I could truly relate to your documentary though I have to admit i just seen the rushes on youtube and other websites. Very impressive.
      you can reach me on email

  70. Hi friends,

    I am in H4 and i got to know about this site thro google search.
    Hai! to all my fellow H4 trapped friends.
    I am in U.S for the past 4 months after my wedding in Dec. I have my M.E with 3 yrs of work exp in bangalore, India. We tried to apply for my H1B this yr but as we know nothing turned up this yr. I have tried various possibilites to keep myself engaged like volunteering and joining some summer classes. Can anyone suggest me a full day activity or interns. Also let me know if doing internships is possible in H4.

    • trapped said:

      hi pavi,
      welcome to the blog ! h1b is a lil’ difficult to get, though , this year there was less rush.
      Internships are difficult to come by, and at times not allowed. but this shouldn’t stop you from trying , i know of some people on h4 who managed to get internships and traineeships programs.
      good luck.

  71. This is an excellent blog that explains the true plight of what we h4 visa holders go through.! Congrats to all for keeping this blog updated and fed with all thought provoking Information.
    Pavi, I can give you lots of resources and information of how to be engaged. I am conducting a forum for h4 visa holders in a local non profit and will gladly give all info you need.
    Until I get back to you Just enjoy the beautiful summer and take each step at a time!


    • trapped said:

      thanks nivea ! Great to see people interacting amongst themselves. i haven’t been a regular for sometime, but i promise i will post something new and interesting very soon.
      take care

  72. H4Syndrome said:

    Hi all, This is a very interesting blog and I am glad that I found it today. I came to US in 2005 with a L1 Visa ( was working in India for an mnc) and worked here till 2008. I had to quit my job and change to H4 as I had a baby and my project location was changed to a different state . I was happy initially in H4 as I had good time to spend with my kid and hubby but as time passed it became more and more frustrating . But after reading this blog today I feel more energetic and releaved. Hope to see more interesting information and more experience from all the readers. I am sure I will visit this blog quite often and post comments.

  73. I really appreciate this website…and was introduced to me by my husband….i Know its a trauma to be in this situation and this site is really H4 people like us to come and unite and get rid of this sheer loneliness and utilise this time in doing something productive for us as individuals ….

    I am having a 15 yr degree 4rm india and was working for almost 5 years unless when i joined my husband here in us….I am just getting confused as i want to do my masters from here but really dont know 4rm where i sud start…as i did search some colleges and online courses…but they are preety expensive and requires lots of paper work ….just wanted suggestions……


    • Hi mona,

      It IS very confusing, the admission procedure, the test you need to take, the grading/ credit system…eveything is different and new. look for colleges and universities in your area and also the ones online. make sure the online universities are accredited. moreover, call up the college or email them with the list of queries. tell them you are an international student , hence you aren’t fimiliar with the terms and procedures. when you finally, decide what you like, fill up the apllication, apply for instate fee…you might need to ask for transcripts (certificates) from yor previous academic institution in india. these things take a lot of time…just researching, interacting with university peopleand getting transcripts may take more than 6 months. in due course of time, you will be a permanent alien in the state you r residing and will be able to apply for instate fee (browse the blog for more on this!). also, you might like to explore the local community college, which is a little less expensive but it does not offer masters degree. even a certificate course will come in handy, so keep your options open. the first step would be to do a lot of google search and jot down the colleges, universities that offers the program you r interested in…
      good luck … keep us posted, we will be happy to help ! πŸ™‚

  74. Thanks for the information!!!……But these days am really fighting with my inner self in getting adjusted to this place….its kind of little frustrating as days are passing on…and becoming home sick day by day….i dont know how far i will be able to survive like this…

    • i agree with nivea ! you have to keep looking for ideas that can keep you busy…. i remember dooing all sorts of things like knitting, cooking, writing poetry, cutting coupons (like crazy !), reading like a bookworm,and ofcourse, painting ( taught myself oil painting) . i got one of them framed yesterday !
      soemtimes, the boredom just gets to you…but you HAVE to break out of it and look for something that will help you preserve your sanity. how long have you been here? which state …if you dont mind disclosing. you might find some friends here.
      take care.

  75. Mona, I know and relate to what you are going through.
    Attend a information house nearby in the colleges and understand the system.
    Volunteer in some local community agency or hospital to keep yourself engaged positively.
    This country can make one feel depressed, low and easily dejected. Also thinking of home and family can make it more tough.
    I think the key is to accept oneself u conditionally and gettting comfortable with one OWN COMPANY.

    Ruminating on what has worked in the past or how life was back home does not help greatly in the present.

    Engage yourself by developing a creative side. Attend the community college course just for fun
    Spend time with your hubby and cook nice dishes and develop the facets that you have not know. You never know there may be an artist inside you waiting to Bloom. Good Luck and Best Wishes,
    We are here to help to take each day as it comes.!

  76. Thanks for all the suggestions!well i belong to California state and i am in Anaheim…i have tried to do all the listed things but how much u will enjoy doing all these ….i feel like i have become old as these things are done by people who crossed 30…having nothing left in life to be done ….i wil do all these may be after a certain point of time…just dnt want to get old so soon…

    • well, if you find even one thing u really like, you can do it all your life. people who r busy with studies, jobs n’ kids have to take time out for their hobbies ! mabe you haven’t found something you really like…you just need to look around. I never thought that anyone would think that books, painting, excersing were to be enjoyed only by people beyond a certain age πŸ˜€ but you are entitled to your opinions. I have been doing most of these things since I was 7 and my five year old daughter spends her days the same way !! But i also like interacting , meeting people and being a part of an organisation (earning my own livelihood)

      If I were to tell you that you are having a major mood swing and that a bit fresh air, chat with freinds (even if it is over the phone) and excersice will help you ….you probably think I am being patronising but that is the truth. H4 can be crushing …but come on, we still have stuff we can do, things we can look forward to …we cannot let our minds obessess over just one thing. why dont you look up the inspiration section of this blog for a few uplifting thoughts and also watch the new video I have posted my the front page. infact, I read something nice, simple and believable about ‘happiness’ on TOI, will post it here rightaway.

      I hope you dont let yourself fall into the trap of extreme depression, it is just your mind playing tricks on you…things are not half as bad as they seem to be. cheer up…and till then , keep posting. πŸ™‚
      take care.

  77. H4Syndrome said:

    Hi Mona,

    I will be moving to California by end of this month and most likely will be living in anaheim or close by. May be we will be neighbours and can meet. I can tell you there are many many many things apart from a job to do in Life. H4 visa has just stollen our right to work but we still have lot others to do. We just have to think outside the box.

  78. i am really glad to know tat….atleast i will be having a friend…do let me know when u come down ….may be it will be the start of a new life and a new beginning of friendship……..

  79. Hi Mona,

    I have moved to California. We are in a hotel right now and most likely will be moving to an apartment by the weekend. I would love to talk to you and be a friend. below is my email id

  80. Hi

    U can also mail me n let me know where u are in California as i am in Anaheim…U cud also email me on my


  81. Hi

    You can also email me on my email stay in Anaheim.Hope to hear 4rm u soon……

  82. I can so relate to what everyone feels here . The one thing that I miss is the most is having a good friend to talk to and do fun
    things together like movies and shopping !ANyone of you guys in the New Jersey / New york area , ping me…maybe we could catch up for coffee and a movie !

    • hi friends,

      I have been in CA for 3 weeks now on H4. This is the longest that I have stayed in US and trust me feels like 3 months already…
      Today my frustration that I encountered with the social security office has got me here…I was refused to have a SS no. because I am on H4…..they refused to allow me to have my identity here…this is insane.An MBA who has worked for 3 yrs in India felt like going back there n then. that means no credit cards, no driver’s license nothing. Live on other’s mercy.

      Wanted to check that from you gals it true that we cant get a ss no?

      Views r welcome

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  84. Hi I am also sailing in same boat.I did my B.E. and 2 yr.exp. frm india.Sitting at home is very boaring.My hubby has prj. in different state.Its good to see new places.But sometimes becomes very frusted sitting alone in hotel/apt.I cant kill my time.Trying for H1 bt couldnt find good consultant..

    • Hey Trapped,
      This is my first visit to your blog. I came here accidentally while i was looking for edu loan for H4 visa holders.I have been in the USA for past one year and its no less than what you all H4iets have gone through so I don’t wanna repeat the same sad story of being in it. Now am planning to pursue Masters degree in HRM, am applying for the universities and am all excited about it.
      I like your blog and hope to have a active participation. The second most thing you miss the most after your not-able-to-work-status in the USA is your friends back home. And these kinda blogs help you make friends and share thoughts.

      Cheers to the H4iets !!!

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  86. hippuhangu said:

    I was surprised to find you writing about the same struggling as I am writing in my blog. I am sorry that I cannot share it with you because I am writing it all in Japanese. I am struggling with exactly the same feeling as yours.; I feel, I have lost my independence. Even though I have a right to work with my J2 Visa, it is too hard for me to get a professional position which I had been doing in Japan. There are too many problems which I need to solve, and I am very much discouraged by knowing that I cannot get even a menial job in the U.S. I went to the school, did some volunteering, and tried to find enjoyment in cooking, but still, I am not satisfied. I hope that we will corporate to find a better solution. Thank you so much for writing this blog!

  87. hi all u H4 gurls.. i am H4 too..i am an MBA from Mumbai. I have worked in the banking sector for 4 years before i got was a busy busy life.. 9 to 9 work hours…this idle time is crazy.. can’t figure out what to do. ..feels as if these ppl here in U.S. get slaves from India 😦

    As for Megha could get a driving license inspite of your SSN. Check with your local DMV office.
    I have to go thru the same process for license..first get a SSN denial letter and then u get a learner’s license from the DMV there are states where denial is not required but mostly SSN denial shows that u r on dependent visa. Foolish but have to do it!

  88. Hiii Gals, my name is heena and i also on h4 visa like u..i m living in anaheim, anyone of u living near or in anaheim.

  89. Pooja Reddy said:


    My current situation

    1) Entered the US in 2009 on H4 visa and since not left the country

    2) I have H4 visa stamped on my passport (no F1 visa stamped) and H4 visa expiring in Oct 2010

    3) I got admitted to full-time MS program and converted (change of status) to F1 in July 2010

    4) I am graduating in Dec 2010 and will apply for OPT in Sept 2010 with a start date for OPT for Feb 2011. My husband is currently on H1B visa..
    Ques – If I want to leave the US after my graduation in Dec 2010, kindly advise the best way for me to enter the US ? Also, can I enter the country on approved OPT without getting any visa stamped on my passport ?

    Please help me.

    Thank you

  90. Hi All.My name is Swathi.And am on F2 visa,it’s same as H4(have to be dependent). Am doing volunteering work in two schools and in one organization.I completed my bachelors (I.T) in India.Want to become a Elementary Teacher.I really loved this blog,am completely connected to it.I came here just 10 months back and first 2-3 months I was naive but now volunteering keeps me busy and I could make some really good friends here.But somewhere without a job I feel handicapped but I am sure one day am going to get my dream job for sure.Hope all your dreams come true.Never give up.Take care:)

  91. hey all!

    nice blog very informative!!!! I will soon be joining the h4 brigade & the thought is already scary. I am an artist and I teach painting at home, exhibit too and sell a few from home! tell me as a H4, where do i stand?

    I cant teach, cant sell my paintings at home, markets, or online. Cant approach retail outlets to use my work, cant illustrate….my god! what do i do? My career will come to a standstill????any info will be usefu

  92. Hi Everybody,

    Sailing in the same boat. Very interesting to read though. is there any solution for this? Sometimes its like dont know what to do at home??
    Read posts of Sandhya,trapped.I think some old posts, and all get into their works by this time. I could not see a positive ray of light with a h4 visa status.


  93. Ideas are always welcome.


  94. Hi Everyone,

    I am in the same boat and It’s such a relief to know that I am not the only one going “crazy” with this H-4 visa restrictions. Feeling trapped will be an understatement. I am totally done with all the restrictions H-4 visa holders have to face. Even spouses of F-1, L-1 and other visa holders are allowed to work.

    I think its time something was done about our situation. Because, It’s such a shame that so much talent is getting wasted just for having H-4 visa. I have a masters degree from the UK , but getting an H1-B sponsorship has been such a nightmare.
    For a solution, I have been thinking of starting a petition to the government, with the hopes that with enough signatures gathered and when sent to the right office we would be allowed to choose whether or not to work.

    I am still researching on the most effective ways to go about such a petition and the best office to send it to for RESULTS!!!.
    Any ideas, information, etc, etc will be greatly welcome.


  95. hello everybody,i am from the philippines,i was here since last year,i am also h4,at first i don’t want to go here because i know that i can’t work here but my wife insist me to come here,now after a year he started throwing me bad words,and force me to find a job,but i can’t find one so she let me get rid of our rented house and start to file me a divorce,i don;t know what to do anymore and i have no money,and a have no where to go ….what should i do???

  96. Hi there,

    I stumbled upon your blog while doing a search on H4 woes. I enjoyed going through it, and I must say you are doing a great job, so keep writing. Err…or have you stopped writing as I couldn’t see a 2011/2012 post.

    As to who I am…well…I am an H4 wife too. Few days back, I’ve started a blog called VIWA (given the limitation of the H4) with three purposes: to while away my time (honestly!), to get back to my first love, writing and to connect with other H4 wives (I am assuming you are too!). On my blog, I write on subjects pertaining to India, travel, food, NRIs, culture, etc and
    women-related matters, and try not to rant about the curse of the H4. πŸ™‚ I thought you might be interested in reading my blog or maybe even contributing. Here’s the link – Take a look around and do let me know your views.

    I couldn’t see an email ID, so I am posting this note here.

  97. Girls relax…the way you are talking is nothing butcomplaining around. ..

  98. Hi,
    i don’t see any activity after 2010! guys H4 is still frustrating, “boarded the ship” recently πŸ™‚

  99. Hi Folks – I came to the US last year on H4 Visa, after marriage. Back home in India, I had a flourishing career in Human Resources (have about 8 years of experience) and here I am “Trapped’! Thanks to God, my husband is very supportive and is doing all that he can to help me feel more at home – but sometimes, the boredom is getting to me! It is really sad, that this is so only in the US – no other country has a visa of this kind. And yes, America needs skilled labour – (and not cheap labour – Mind you!) to get thier corporate needs going! This being so, why can’t they be a little open to the H4 visa holders (especially spouses of H1B), with suitable credentials working and contributing to the American Society. America should tighten entry points for those who try to make it into the country illegally! That should be their focus! And unemployment? If US really wants to fix that issue, there are very many ways to do it! Wonder how that issue is gonna get resolved by curbing H4 visa holders from working!

  100. Rahi Lambe said:

    Hi Everyone .. Not sure whether this forum is still active as I dont see any blogs or posts after 2010. But if its active I am seeking for some help realted to the similar situation.

    I am on H4 visa from Dec 2011 . currently residing in Texas. I have looked out for all the options to be able to work here for no good so have decided to study further. Back in India I had completed my Mba in Human Resources and was working for 2 yrs.

    Doing Mba again is a bit depressing as there will be nothing new to crave on..but still want to do it.. my querry here is can I apply for Mba from University here directly or I have to give TOFEL or any other exam to get admission..

    Help on this matter would be grateful to me…Thanks will await for reply.

  101. hi everybody ,
    for people who have suffered on H4 or are still suffering on H4. Please sign this petition…

    • Bubble, thank you. Finally, someone who is as tired as I am. I will sign your petition. Hopefully this can garner enough support to effect change. Let me know if I can help with anything.


  102. Hi all,
    I know the feeling of being trapped in H4 visa mess.
    But trust me consultants are no way out.. you just step out from one hell into another when you go thru a consultant who will file an H1-B visa for you.

    I got mine converted from H4 to H1 without hte help of any consultant and managing a full time opportunity in one of the top 10 startups in bay area.

    The key was to apply jobs using LinkedIn and twitter.

    P.S. When I went in for interviews, ppl actually told me my twitter profile and following was interesting.. and that alone worked for me (not to mention a well planned resume and tailored cover letter)


  103. Hi All,
    I was also on the H4 for a long time and had similar struggles as yours. I made a documentary about it (watch trailer, rent or buy here I have been doing activism around this issue for the last 10 years and this year was able to attend the SAALT ( summit and meet with legislators to share our plight. There is hope with the new Comprehensive Immigration Reform bill and I am looking for women who would like to share their stories and also be part of the movement. Please email me at with subject line H4:My story.
    Appreciate your time and support,

  104. Hi
    Even I’m in same position .. Pls help me

  105. Hi All,

    I am also holding H4, Can you please sign below pettition, Hi All, Please go through below page and sign the pettition, and please spread this as much as you can. At least give it a try…

    At least give it a try.. please spread is as much as you can, to achieve target

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